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Post by bectil on Jun 11, 2017 18:47:50 GMT
Hi everyone, long time no see! I have popped on a couple of times, but not been on everyday like I use to be. All is good and improving! Tilly is her usual grumpy self, but is doing fine apart from the few ailments of getting old, bless her. Alfie is doing really well, he seems to be doing better with other dogs and willing to accept some that he previously would bark at. He is also doing me the world of good. As some of you might have read on the chit chat thread, I have anxiety issues which at one point stopped me from going out to shops/busy places/meeting family/became travel sick/felt really low/generally felt ill at times. I have finished my talking therapy and medication is helping things stay level, but I still need to get out places and meet people. This week Alfie and I went running with my cousin and her dog, and today Alfie and I met an old college friend at a National Trust place. Meaning I had to drive somewhere I am not use to driving and socialise! Alfie and I are also possibly going to go for walks with my cousin and her dog most weeks and we also MIGHT be starting Canicross  Although Alfie is technically a "distraction", he is still helping me get out on my own and go to new places!
Now, I'm trying to be a bit more laid back with Alfie. I'm trying to trust him a little bit more and trying to encourage him to play with other dogs that he shows he wants to play with when he's on his lead. When he's playing, he tends to come back to me a few times in like a way he's wanting reassurance. I'm not sure how to approach this, as I want to comfort him, but I don't want to encourage/praise any unwanted behaviours that might arise from/during the situation (if you get what I mean!). Do I remove him from the play session or do prompt that it's okay and to go and play? TIA.  |
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Post by caz2golden on Jun 11, 2017 19:20:32 GMT
I am probably going to reply rather naively. I hope some of the others come alone to properly advise.
Do you think he is coming back as he is uncertain of the interaction and therefore looking to you to remove him from the situation or is he coming back to as such touch base before re-engaging in the play? I think you know your dog best and so if you think he needs a bit of reassurance (be it telling him he is good, just a gentle stroke or telling him its fine to keep going in the play) it is probably best to give it to him.
I had not really gathered that you were having anxiety issues, I have periods of anxiety and do understand how crippling it can be, though mine is not as bad as yours obviously is. Can I just wish you the best at finding the best coping mechanisms you can find that work for you.
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Post by bectil on Jun 11, 2017 19:36:34 GMT
I am probably going to reply rather naively. I hope some of the others come alone to properly advise. Do you think he is coming back as he is uncertain of the interaction and therefore looking to you to remove him from the situation or is he coming back to as such touch base before re-engaging in the play? I think you know your dog best and so if you think he needs a bit of reassurance (be it telling him he is good, just a gentle stroke or telling him its fine to keep going in the play) it is probably best to give it to him. I had not really gathered that you were having anxiety issues, I have periods of anxiety and do understand how crippling it can be, though mine is not as bad as yours obviously is. Can I just wish you the best at finding the best coping mechanisms you can find that work for you. Now you say that, he is happy to walk away from it all when it's time to part ways. I'm not having to drag him away and he doesn't want to continue playing as I walk away. I think he might have been a bit overwhelmed this evening, the two dogs he was playing with were a bit over crowding and rough, but once they get to know each other a bit more, he might be happier about playing with them. Thank you for the kind words! Things are getting better, but I know this winter isn't going to be a good one with whats planned, so I really am going to have to try and do Canicross with him, seen as running is good for the mind! |
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Post by cazypops on Jun 11, 2017 20:12:30 GMT
Looking at it from a different angle, knowing how intelligent dogs are and how they sense how we are feeling, is it possible that he keeps coming back to reassure you that he's still there and is happy to keep playing once you let him know that you are ok.  I'm glad that you are managing you anxiety issues ok for now. By the way, that's a lovely photo of Alfie. |
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Post by caz2golden on Jun 11, 2017 20:38:10 GMT
I am sure he will get to know the other dogs quite quickly and will enjoy his play sessions.
If you do think he is overwhelmed then maybe asking for a temporary time out might work?
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Post by orpheous87 on Jun 11, 2017 23:25:18 GMT
I would be inclined to think the same as cazypops and think that Alfie is coming back to check in with you and check that you're ok. It's not a bad thing. You kind of want your dogs to check in with you every now and again on a walk, so I think if I were you, I'd tell him he's a good boy, maybe give him a treat and then send him off to play again. If he doesn't show any signs of wanting to go back and play, then I'd take that as a sign he's had enough and maybe end the play session. |
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Post by bectil on Jun 22, 2017 18:26:37 GMT
Thankyou for your replies caz2golden , cazypops & orpheous87 ! I never thought about him checking up on me. Possibly so, because when we were out on our walk last week to a new place, when he was off of his lead, he was stopping and looking back at me. I couldn't believe Alfie yesterday. We went on another new walk this week, where he was OFF LEAD with SEVEN other dogs! He was brilliant with them, and was enjoying having a fuss from other dog owners. There was a lot going on too; other dogs were wondering around, jumping and running into the pond/water, new dogs joining the group, he was loving it and I was loving watching him enjoying himself and behaving! I ended up letting him have the run when walking back to the car, and any dogs we met, I held his harness rather than put him on his lead which he seemed happier with. We also start canicross next week! Got fingers crossed he will be on his BEST behaviour! |
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Post by orpheous87 on Jun 22, 2017 19:29:19 GMT
Yay, glad to hear it bectil! Have you heard of Absolute Dogs? They've got a free DVD offer (you have to pay postage) for their Leash Off Game On DVD which gives you games to play with the dogs while they're off lead that will help them pay attention to you. If you're worried about reactivity that might be worth getting. I'm using a lot of their techniques with Ellie and I have to say, I'm having a fair bit of success. Their Facebook pages are useful too, lots of helpful people www.facebook.com/groups/214490725633880/# - Relationship Power Training group www.facebook.com/groups/610566119052717/?fref=ts# Naughty But Nice group |
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Post by bectil on Jun 29, 2017 19:26:24 GMT
Thanks orpheous87! I've joined the groups, and they look very interesting and many dogs/owners Alfie and I can relate to, so it's interesting to read other peoples experiences in tackling the issues. Alfie and I went to our first canicross social run yesterday evening, and Alfie was brilliant. There was one dog he didn't get a long with which was out of about 10 other dogs there (he tried taking a chunk out of the dog twice while running a long, thankfully I don't think the owner saw, but I have started to consider possibly taking a muzzle with me). There was another dog I thought he wouldn't get a long with, as he was barking at/a long the/with the other dog, but he was really good with him which I was very pleased about! He also LOVED running, he pulled like a train! We ran quicker and longer than I thought we would, so my legs and stomach muscles are aching today!  |
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Although Alfie is technically a "distraction", he is still helping me get out on my own and go to new places! 
