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Post by mitzimoos on Sept 2, 2013 15:20:54 GMT
Hi, my three year old Siberian female cat has always hissed at my boyfriend of nine months; but lately she gotten worse, she now growls and hisses at him. not all at him but me as well when hes around. He adores animals so I know she not getting mis-treated. Can anyone please tell me why she like this and what i can do so they can become friends? Thank you ![]() |
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Post by tonib on Sept 2, 2013 18:45:02 GMT
Hi mitzimoos, welcome to the forum. I presume you had your cat before the boyfriend. My thought is that she sees him as an invader of her territory & a rival for her resources (you). I'm not an expert but have heard some suggestion of getting your boyfriend to feed her & not you, if that's at all possible. However not to push it. So that he is the one that dishes out the food, puts the bowl down in its normal place but then leaves her be. Also for him not to catch her eye, almost deliberately not looking at her. Let her dictate the pace, so no attempts to fuss her by him until she initiates the request. The idea is to get her to associate the good things with him & not to feel threatened - eye contact can be seen as threatening to a cat I believe. That doesn't mean that you should ignore her. Make sure she gets plenty of attention/grooming from you when your boyfriend is there & not. I don't know whether that will help - an animal behaviourist may help but you need to be referred to them by a vet. Hopefully someone else can give you some other/better ideas. Good luck & keep us informed how it goes. We always like to know how requests for advice/assistance progress an also we can learn for what happens as well  |
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Post by mitzimoos on Sept 2, 2013 19:51:41 GMT
Thank you that helps a lot might let him start giving her; her treats.
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Post by tonib on Sept 2, 2013 22:05:03 GMT
If you're going to use treats which you normally give by hand, let her see him put them down a bit away from her (a couple of feet or so) so she doesn't feel threatened then move away so she can get to them without being too close.
Good luck.
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Post by Pawsforthought on Sept 2, 2013 23:01:20 GMT
tonib has given very good advice, and I'd like to add to make absolutely certain him being there has no effect on your cat's life for the time being. She should still be getting all the attention previously given etc. so she doesn't associate any negative change to her life with him being around. These things always have to build slowly. If she were a dog I'd say let him walk her haha. I guess the catty equivalent is to let him be the bearer of good things all the time, where possible, like tonib said with her food if she gets a new toy etc. maybe he should be the presenter of said toy? Anyway, good luck and I'm sure with time and patience you'll overcome this issue! |
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Post by mitzimoos on Sept 3, 2013 8:59:03 GMT
Thank you all for the advice and I'm will take everything on broad.. I will keep you all updated x
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janussi
Settling in well!
Posts: 95 
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Post by janussi on Sept 4, 2013 15:33:28 GMT
Look forward to the updates....good advice has already been given.
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Post by catcalleddog on Sept 10, 2013 14:00:21 GMT
Some cats just hiss a lot anyway - our cat Bumble is a hisser! He hisses when he is unhappy, but also when he is happy, and anywhere in between.
Last year he went missing for a fortnight; his sister Honey Cat went 4 days later. Bumble then came back and a week later Honey returned too (I am sure they had been 'taken in' by others - they didn't have collars then, and it was way too cold in November for them to stay outside).
Anyway, Bumble hissed at Honey (which we think is a sister - they lived together before we got them anyway) - for a whole week. Very aggressive - but Honey Cat was completely nonchalant and just looked at Bumble blankly whenever he hissed at her. After a week, the hissing stopped, and now they get on.
Probably if your boyfriend were at your place permanently, rather than visiting, your cat would stop the missing and growling (which in cats is all show anyway and very rarely ends in fisticuffs).
This tale actually reminds me of George in my book, who is so jealous that his owner The Lady has got a new boyfriend (a cat hater who turns out to be totally unsuitable).
Cats can be jealous creatures indeed...
But then, so can people!
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Post by heartpawprints on Sept 15, 2013 20:55:35 GMT
The other point is if your cat had negative experiences in the past with men she will carry this learning forward and apply it to all men she encounters. Whilst Georgia isn't a hisser she does run and hide from men. As said above positive re enforcement with treats given at a safe distance should go some way to improving the situation.
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