Tesco cherry bakewells email
Jul 17, 2013 23:49:11 GMT
petitsfilous, scallywag, and 2 more like this
Post by teegiebear on Jul 17, 2013 23:49:11 GMT
Got sent a link with this great email exchange between a cherry bakewell conaseur and tesco......read on its worth it
.......
I have to say, when I wrote this tongue in cheek complaint email to Tesco, I wasn't sure how this was going to pan out. But, my opinion has changed and certainly it brightened up my day.
This is the order of emails. Enjoy.
Subject: Formal Complaint
Dear Sir/Madam,
This morning I purchased a pack of Tesco's own Cherry Bakewells. This was
for a tea party which I am going to have this afternoon. It is a ritual in
our village to host ...tea parties, it’s terribly middle class and snobby but
to be honest, as a man, I can't bake a cake to save my life so I decided to
cheat and buy some cakes. I picked the Tesco's own brand ones because my
granny once gave me her 'Take a Break' magazine and some rough
looking family once said that your bakewells were better than Aldi.
Anyway, I digress. Upon laying out the tarts on the table in preparation
for this afternoon's excitement, I was aghast to find the majority of them
had very poorly laid out cherries. I have photographed the pack as
evidence. I am afraid I have had to eat some of them because beauty is only
skin deep, so I am told. However, image is also important.
I know cherry insertion is not an exact science, but I feel a bit misled.
Just when I thought I could trust Tesco's own food again, the perfect
cherry placement on the packaging, all central on the tart, is sadly not
wholly reflective of the contents of the box. I don't know whether the
cherries are manually placed on there or thrown on from a height, but the
accuracy leads me to believe the man responsible is probably the same man
that visits the public toilets just before me every single time, the man
that gives me wet shoelaces.
Anyway, I wanted to bring this to your urgent attention. I am aware that
every minute I delay this, Mr wet shoelace man will be sending more of
these badly placed cherry creations out of the door. I shall now have to
have a splurge and buy Mr Kipling because it is a matter of pride that I
turn up this afternoon with a tart that looks smart.
------------------
THE REPLY
Dear Tom
Thank you for your email.
I was sorry to hear that you are unhappy with the layout of cherries on the pack of Cherry Bakewells you bought from us. I can appreciate why you are disappointed, especially as they were so highly praised by the rough looking family in your granny's Take a Break magazine.
Firstly I'd like to re-assure you that these cherries are not arranged by the man that visits your local public toilets and that all the staff that work there have dry shoe laces (unless it's been raining of course).
I cannot advise you if the cherries are manually placed, or dropped from a height, however I have to admit that if it is the latter, I might be looking to relocate and apply for a job there because that sounds like a lot of fun.
I would like to tell our suppliers about this and would be grateful if you could get back to me with the barcode from the pack and also the batch code and use by / best before date. Our suppliers may want to contact you about this, however if you would rather not be contacted, please let me know and I will advise them not to.
I really do hope that this incident hasn't done any harm to your social status and I do hope that you managed to make the tea party a success. I would like to send you a £5.00 Tesco Moneycard to say sorry, if you would like to accept this please let me know.
I appreciate that you will probably not be able to turn up with a tart that is smart for this price, however, I thought maybe you could use it to make some cucumber sandwiches for your next party. I'm sure that will really impress your neighbours!
Thank you for taking the time to contact me about this. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards
----------------
Dear Tracey,
Thank you for your email. I just tore myself away from the tea party. Lots of talk about the weather and menopause, so I was relieved to see your prompt reply.
I feel assured that your staff do have dry shoe laces, I can't tell you the annoyance it causes me when I come back from the local toilets with wet shoelaces. I think India has the right idea, dig and hole and aim low!
I will enquire for you about how the Cherries are placed. I did write to Jim'll Fix it many years ago but didn't get a reply so I have lived a life naive it seems.
I have been down and fished the box out of the recycling bin. In the olden days, we used to put them in the kitchen bin, but now I have to walk down the garden. I found the box in between my copies of Chat, People's Friend and Take a Break. Lucky you asked me, because I managed to find a copy I had thrown away in error. I shall enjoy reading about how a young lady managed to bag herself three jobless boyfriends later when everyone has gone home.
Oh again, I digress! I must admit I struggled to type the barcode on the computer, it was something like this | || ||||||, but I realised I couldnt make the line thicker. I have given up, but here is the number 5 052320 551446. If you need the barcode lines, I could draw them.
Best before 20/08/2013 - not long to go!
batch number A13172 10:37 - I wonder if 10.37 was the time it was made. Sounds like loo break time. I hope hands were washed!
The suppliers can of course contact me anytime, it may shed some light on cherry proceedures!
Now, your offer of £5 sounds like a real treat. I could buy a lot of cucumbers for that but I am sure Dawn down at the WI would appreciate some smoked salmon at the next tea party. I don't know what it is about old people and fishy sandwiches, but I guess its a generational thing.
Anyway, I have got to sign off now. Lilly is heading upstairs to use my toilet and if I don't help her up the stairs she will have wet shoelaces too!
Regards
-----------
Dear Tom
Thank you for your reply.
I'm sorry that it took me a little while to reply, I was struggling to type from laughing at your attempt to give me the barcode. I must admit I was almost tempted to accept you offer of a drawing, however I did manage to get all the information I needed from the numbers you kindly provided.
In addition to this, I was delighted to hear that I was able to help rescue you from talk about menopause, I can't imagine how awkward this must have been for you and I really hope that you managed to get to Lily in time!
However on another note, I was saddened to hear that Jim was not able to fix it for you, despite this set back early on in life, it seems that you have made it to the top anyway. I mean I don't think it gets much better than smoked salmon sandwiches with the women from the WI on a Monday afternoon!
I really want you to know that I appreciate you fishing through your recycling for the packaging, although it's lucky you did, as I'm not sure how you would get through the week without knowing how this young lady managed to bag herself three jobless boyfriends. How lucky she is, most of us would consider ourselves lucky with just the one. I would really appreciate it if you could let me know which issue this is, as I could really do with some tips!
Finally, I have sent you the £5.00 Tesco Moneycard that I promised. This should be with you in the next 5-10 working days. I hope that the sandwiches go down well with the ladies from the WI and that next time they spare you the talk about menopause.
I'm very sorry that you have had this problem with our Cherry Bakewells; however I'm very happy that you decided to share this with us, as you have brightened up my day.
Kind regards
-------------
Hello Tracey,
Phew, sorry i'm late replying, I just got back from the hospital. Lilly had a funny turn in my en suite. Margaret (chief jam maker) at the WI was great. She is familiar with cleaning out a bidet. Seems as though Lilly forgot herself and had a shock when a jet of water came from nowhere. The first thing we knew about it was when her top dentures came flying down the stairs. We are all sitting here now having a chuckle, waiting for our shoes to dry on the line.
Now, I have had a root through the magazines or rather Edith has (her back is crooked so perfect for rooting around on the carpet). However, I can't find that one with the three jobless boyfriends, but she is in there most weeks. There was a recent one with a girl who was shot with a crossbow by her boyfriend but it panned out well. Turns out she gets to park closer to the front door of Tesco now.
I am surprised you need tips Tracey on finding jobless meN, you sound like someone with a GSOH. Oh, don't get me started on dating adverts, blimming liars all of them. One woman I met recently said in her advert that she liked long walks, so wanting to please her I turned up with my Springer Spaniel and asked her to walk it. Oh Tracey, the mouthful of abuse I got, you wouldnt believe she came from the posh end of Blackbird Leys.
You are right though Tracey, I have to level with you. I feel blessed that I get to host tea parties. Although, with the average age of 87, I am not sure how long this will go on for, but if i close my eyes and freeze the moment, I have that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Also Tracey, I am pleased you have a sense of humour. It must be boring sitting there all day listening to people moaning about silly things, I am just glad I gave you something to get your 'teeth into'.
Sadly though, there has been fundamental changes to the £5 salmon sandwich plan. Margaret has just shouted down that she has used the last of my toilet duck so I better get off to Tesco's again.
Anyway, I better get the shoes off the line as the dial-a-ride has just turned up to collect my guests.
Tom
-----------
customer.service@tesco.co.uk
to me
Thank you for your reply.
Wow Tom that certainly sounds like an eventful hour and thank heavens for Margaret and her multitasking abilities! It's good that everyone can have a good old chuckle about it now though.
In addition to this, please thank Edith for me; I imagine it couldn't have been easy for her rummaging through magazines in her condition, so I really appreciate it. It's a pity that she couldn't find it, I guess I'll have to rely on my sense of humour to bag those jobless men, I'll just have to make sure that they do not own a crossbow, however appealing a closer parking space may sound.
I would also like to thank you for telling me that I am right, these are words that women love to hear and I'm sure if you keep practising it, you will soon find you are no longer receiving abuse from the posh ladies residing in Blackbird Leys. However I do agree that it's her own fault for saying she likes walks, I'm sure that she will now be more specific about who she is walking with, so really you have done her a favour.
Also, I do hope that you will be able to host these parties for many years to come, I'm sure that the WI will not run out of ladies to entertain anytime soon!
By now I imagine you are back from your shopping trip to Tesco and by the sound of it you have a lot of clearing up to do, so I will leave you to get on with it. However if you have anymore problems in the future, please do not hesitate to get in contact with us, we will be more than happy to help.
THE END
.......
I have to say, when I wrote this tongue in cheek complaint email to Tesco, I wasn't sure how this was going to pan out. But, my opinion has changed and certainly it brightened up my day.
This is the order of emails. Enjoy.
Subject: Formal Complaint
Dear Sir/Madam,
This morning I purchased a pack of Tesco's own Cherry Bakewells. This was
for a tea party which I am going to have this afternoon. It is a ritual in
our village to host ...tea parties, it’s terribly middle class and snobby but
to be honest, as a man, I can't bake a cake to save my life so I decided to
cheat and buy some cakes. I picked the Tesco's own brand ones because my
granny once gave me her 'Take a Break' magazine and some rough
looking family once said that your bakewells were better than Aldi.
Anyway, I digress. Upon laying out the tarts on the table in preparation
for this afternoon's excitement, I was aghast to find the majority of them
had very poorly laid out cherries. I have photographed the pack as
evidence. I am afraid I have had to eat some of them because beauty is only
skin deep, so I am told. However, image is also important.
I know cherry insertion is not an exact science, but I feel a bit misled.
Just when I thought I could trust Tesco's own food again, the perfect
cherry placement on the packaging, all central on the tart, is sadly not
wholly reflective of the contents of the box. I don't know whether the
cherries are manually placed on there or thrown on from a height, but the
accuracy leads me to believe the man responsible is probably the same man
that visits the public toilets just before me every single time, the man
that gives me wet shoelaces.
Anyway, I wanted to bring this to your urgent attention. I am aware that
every minute I delay this, Mr wet shoelace man will be sending more of
these badly placed cherry creations out of the door. I shall now have to
have a splurge and buy Mr Kipling because it is a matter of pride that I
turn up this afternoon with a tart that looks smart.
------------------
THE REPLY
Dear Tom
Thank you for your email.
I was sorry to hear that you are unhappy with the layout of cherries on the pack of Cherry Bakewells you bought from us. I can appreciate why you are disappointed, especially as they were so highly praised by the rough looking family in your granny's Take a Break magazine.
Firstly I'd like to re-assure you that these cherries are not arranged by the man that visits your local public toilets and that all the staff that work there have dry shoe laces (unless it's been raining of course).
I cannot advise you if the cherries are manually placed, or dropped from a height, however I have to admit that if it is the latter, I might be looking to relocate and apply for a job there because that sounds like a lot of fun.
I would like to tell our suppliers about this and would be grateful if you could get back to me with the barcode from the pack and also the batch code and use by / best before date. Our suppliers may want to contact you about this, however if you would rather not be contacted, please let me know and I will advise them not to.
I really do hope that this incident hasn't done any harm to your social status and I do hope that you managed to make the tea party a success. I would like to send you a £5.00 Tesco Moneycard to say sorry, if you would like to accept this please let me know.
I appreciate that you will probably not be able to turn up with a tart that is smart for this price, however, I thought maybe you could use it to make some cucumber sandwiches for your next party. I'm sure that will really impress your neighbours!
Thank you for taking the time to contact me about this. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards
----------------
Dear Tracey,
Thank you for your email. I just tore myself away from the tea party. Lots of talk about the weather and menopause, so I was relieved to see your prompt reply.
I feel assured that your staff do have dry shoe laces, I can't tell you the annoyance it causes me when I come back from the local toilets with wet shoelaces. I think India has the right idea, dig and hole and aim low!
I will enquire for you about how the Cherries are placed. I did write to Jim'll Fix it many years ago but didn't get a reply so I have lived a life naive it seems.
I have been down and fished the box out of the recycling bin. In the olden days, we used to put them in the kitchen bin, but now I have to walk down the garden. I found the box in between my copies of Chat, People's Friend and Take a Break. Lucky you asked me, because I managed to find a copy I had thrown away in error. I shall enjoy reading about how a young lady managed to bag herself three jobless boyfriends later when everyone has gone home.
Oh again, I digress! I must admit I struggled to type the barcode on the computer, it was something like this | || ||||||, but I realised I couldnt make the line thicker. I have given up, but here is the number 5 052320 551446. If you need the barcode lines, I could draw them.
Best before 20/08/2013 - not long to go!
batch number A13172 10:37 - I wonder if 10.37 was the time it was made. Sounds like loo break time. I hope hands were washed!
The suppliers can of course contact me anytime, it may shed some light on cherry proceedures!
Now, your offer of £5 sounds like a real treat. I could buy a lot of cucumbers for that but I am sure Dawn down at the WI would appreciate some smoked salmon at the next tea party. I don't know what it is about old people and fishy sandwiches, but I guess its a generational thing.
Anyway, I have got to sign off now. Lilly is heading upstairs to use my toilet and if I don't help her up the stairs she will have wet shoelaces too!
Regards
-----------
Dear Tom
Thank you for your reply.
I'm sorry that it took me a little while to reply, I was struggling to type from laughing at your attempt to give me the barcode. I must admit I was almost tempted to accept you offer of a drawing, however I did manage to get all the information I needed from the numbers you kindly provided.
In addition to this, I was delighted to hear that I was able to help rescue you from talk about menopause, I can't imagine how awkward this must have been for you and I really hope that you managed to get to Lily in time!
However on another note, I was saddened to hear that Jim was not able to fix it for you, despite this set back early on in life, it seems that you have made it to the top anyway. I mean I don't think it gets much better than smoked salmon sandwiches with the women from the WI on a Monday afternoon!
I really want you to know that I appreciate you fishing through your recycling for the packaging, although it's lucky you did, as I'm not sure how you would get through the week without knowing how this young lady managed to bag herself three jobless boyfriends. How lucky she is, most of us would consider ourselves lucky with just the one. I would really appreciate it if you could let me know which issue this is, as I could really do with some tips!
Finally, I have sent you the £5.00 Tesco Moneycard that I promised. This should be with you in the next 5-10 working days. I hope that the sandwiches go down well with the ladies from the WI and that next time they spare you the talk about menopause.
I'm very sorry that you have had this problem with our Cherry Bakewells; however I'm very happy that you decided to share this with us, as you have brightened up my day.
Kind regards
-------------
Hello Tracey,
Phew, sorry i'm late replying, I just got back from the hospital. Lilly had a funny turn in my en suite. Margaret (chief jam maker) at the WI was great. She is familiar with cleaning out a bidet. Seems as though Lilly forgot herself and had a shock when a jet of water came from nowhere. The first thing we knew about it was when her top dentures came flying down the stairs. We are all sitting here now having a chuckle, waiting for our shoes to dry on the line.
Now, I have had a root through the magazines or rather Edith has (her back is crooked so perfect for rooting around on the carpet). However, I can't find that one with the three jobless boyfriends, but she is in there most weeks. There was a recent one with a girl who was shot with a crossbow by her boyfriend but it panned out well. Turns out she gets to park closer to the front door of Tesco now.
I am surprised you need tips Tracey on finding jobless meN, you sound like someone with a GSOH. Oh, don't get me started on dating adverts, blimming liars all of them. One woman I met recently said in her advert that she liked long walks, so wanting to please her I turned up with my Springer Spaniel and asked her to walk it. Oh Tracey, the mouthful of abuse I got, you wouldnt believe she came from the posh end of Blackbird Leys.
You are right though Tracey, I have to level with you. I feel blessed that I get to host tea parties. Although, with the average age of 87, I am not sure how long this will go on for, but if i close my eyes and freeze the moment, I have that warm fuzzy feeling inside. Also Tracey, I am pleased you have a sense of humour. It must be boring sitting there all day listening to people moaning about silly things, I am just glad I gave you something to get your 'teeth into'.
Sadly though, there has been fundamental changes to the £5 salmon sandwich plan. Margaret has just shouted down that she has used the last of my toilet duck so I better get off to Tesco's again.
Anyway, I better get the shoes off the line as the dial-a-ride has just turned up to collect my guests.
Tom
-----------
customer.service@tesco.co.uk
to me
Thank you for your reply.
Wow Tom that certainly sounds like an eventful hour and thank heavens for Margaret and her multitasking abilities! It's good that everyone can have a good old chuckle about it now though.
In addition to this, please thank Edith for me; I imagine it couldn't have been easy for her rummaging through magazines in her condition, so I really appreciate it. It's a pity that she couldn't find it, I guess I'll have to rely on my sense of humour to bag those jobless men, I'll just have to make sure that they do not own a crossbow, however appealing a closer parking space may sound.
I would also like to thank you for telling me that I am right, these are words that women love to hear and I'm sure if you keep practising it, you will soon find you are no longer receiving abuse from the posh ladies residing in Blackbird Leys. However I do agree that it's her own fault for saying she likes walks, I'm sure that she will now be more specific about who she is walking with, so really you have done her a favour.
Also, I do hope that you will be able to host these parties for many years to come, I'm sure that the WI will not run out of ladies to entertain anytime soon!
By now I imagine you are back from your shopping trip to Tesco and by the sound of it you have a lot of clearing up to do, so I will leave you to get on with it. However if you have anymore problems in the future, please do not hesitate to get in contact with us, we will be more than happy to help.
THE END