Post by avrielle on Mar 24, 2013 11:58:52 GMT
Hello. I'm brand new here and looking for some advice.
I'll try to cut a long story short here, I am currently looking for a new house and likely to move within the next few weeks. I currently live with my ex partner, and things are tense between us. Especially over who gets to keep the cat.
She was a rescue cat and we have had her for around 5 years. Unfortunately, we do not know her age, because the rescue home were unable to age her correctly. (One vet said she was 10, and another vet said she was no older than 5...) Though if I were to take a guess, I'd say she was around 11-12 years old.
Anyway, she has been pretty poorly lately and she has a liver problem. We took her to the vet a couple of months ago and he perked up no problem. Since then she has been on a high protien diet with plenty of fresh meat etc. Sadly, she has been ill again lately, though she is not in any pain or suffering, she is acting strangely.
She is constantly following me around and keeping really close to me. She is feeling the cold and huddling next to the heater on a fluffy scarf a gave her to help keep her warm. She is dropping weight and only eating the absolute minimum, though she does have an appetite. She is also drinking less and going to the litter tray less. She seems to be doing what my old family dog did before he died, with the eating absolute minimum and seems to sense that her time is up. I read that cats get extra affectionate before they die and she has been following me around the house and even following me to the bedroom, which she never normally does.
She has been doing the same with my ex too.
I doubt it is just stress from me and the ex and my plans to move out. We broke up in July and things have been pretty tense over that time and is actually less tense now than it was before, so I doubt that is the reason for the cat's behaviour. I think it is more morbid than that. Both my ex and I have decided to just keep her comfortable until her time comes.
Anyway. Here is the problem. If I get a house before she dies, should I take her with me? It has been my plan to take her with me all along , because my ex can't or won't (not sure which) look after her. I'm always the one who feeds her, cleans her litter tray, checks her ears and mouth etc. When she was ill the last time and refused all food, I was the one syringe feeding her because the ex refused as he thought it would hurt her! I have been 'testing' him lately to see what he would do if I didn't do anything (as if I wasn't there, which I won't be soon) and he doesn't keep the house clean. He lets bin bags of household waste build up and he even left them right next to the cats food bowl! He broke a lightbulb a while back and he picked up the main shards, but the floor was left un-hoovered! He doesn't hoover regularly, he doesn't clean her food bowls regularly, he doesn't feed her at the appropriate times. The list goes on and on and on. So it makes sense that the cat should come with me!
But, I'm worried that having her move with me will cause extra stress on her and make her even more ill. But she will get everything she needs, and she trusts me much more than him. But on the other hand, I'm thinking that maybe leaving her behind where she will be comfortable in her own territory will be best and hope that the ex will pull his finger out. She isn't a particularly sensitive cat and we have moved house with her before and she has been fine. But this is a bigger move and I know that she will be a little disorientated from the move and leaving her 'daddy' behind.
My gut says to take her with me... If she lasts that long. I fear he won't look after her.. perhaps even causing her to die quicker and more painful!! (Seriously, I do think it is possible.) But I don't want to cause stress to her by moving her away from her territory.
YIKES! That was much, much more than a nutshell! Sorry folks! But if you managed to read this far, I'd appreciate any advice you could give me. :-)
After writing all of this out, I have kind of realised that the question should probably be "How do I prevent stressing my cat with moving?" But I'll keep the thread as it is for now as it has pretty much all the information there.
Oh, and the ex is livid at the thought that I would take the cat with me. He has been abusive to me (reason for the relationship ending) and he will not accept me taking her. But I have no problem taking her with me anyway. (I have a solicitor on my side who can prevent any continuation with the ex and me once I find my own place to live.) He won't like it, but I just can't let my cat be in the care of a person who doesn't look after her.
Advice? Thoughts?
I'll try to cut a long story short here, I am currently looking for a new house and likely to move within the next few weeks. I currently live with my ex partner, and things are tense between us. Especially over who gets to keep the cat.
She was a rescue cat and we have had her for around 5 years. Unfortunately, we do not know her age, because the rescue home were unable to age her correctly. (One vet said she was 10, and another vet said she was no older than 5...) Though if I were to take a guess, I'd say she was around 11-12 years old.
Anyway, she has been pretty poorly lately and she has a liver problem. We took her to the vet a couple of months ago and he perked up no problem. Since then she has been on a high protien diet with plenty of fresh meat etc. Sadly, she has been ill again lately, though she is not in any pain or suffering, she is acting strangely.
She is constantly following me around and keeping really close to me. She is feeling the cold and huddling next to the heater on a fluffy scarf a gave her to help keep her warm. She is dropping weight and only eating the absolute minimum, though she does have an appetite. She is also drinking less and going to the litter tray less. She seems to be doing what my old family dog did before he died, with the eating absolute minimum and seems to sense that her time is up. I read that cats get extra affectionate before they die and she has been following me around the house and even following me to the bedroom, which she never normally does.
She has been doing the same with my ex too.
I doubt it is just stress from me and the ex and my plans to move out. We broke up in July and things have been pretty tense over that time and is actually less tense now than it was before, so I doubt that is the reason for the cat's behaviour. I think it is more morbid than that. Both my ex and I have decided to just keep her comfortable until her time comes.
Anyway. Here is the problem. If I get a house before she dies, should I take her with me? It has been my plan to take her with me all along , because my ex can't or won't (not sure which) look after her. I'm always the one who feeds her, cleans her litter tray, checks her ears and mouth etc. When she was ill the last time and refused all food, I was the one syringe feeding her because the ex refused as he thought it would hurt her! I have been 'testing' him lately to see what he would do if I didn't do anything (as if I wasn't there, which I won't be soon) and he doesn't keep the house clean. He lets bin bags of household waste build up and he even left them right next to the cats food bowl! He broke a lightbulb a while back and he picked up the main shards, but the floor was left un-hoovered! He doesn't hoover regularly, he doesn't clean her food bowls regularly, he doesn't feed her at the appropriate times. The list goes on and on and on. So it makes sense that the cat should come with me!
But, I'm worried that having her move with me will cause extra stress on her and make her even more ill. But she will get everything she needs, and she trusts me much more than him. But on the other hand, I'm thinking that maybe leaving her behind where she will be comfortable in her own territory will be best and hope that the ex will pull his finger out. She isn't a particularly sensitive cat and we have moved house with her before and she has been fine. But this is a bigger move and I know that she will be a little disorientated from the move and leaving her 'daddy' behind.
My gut says to take her with me... If she lasts that long. I fear he won't look after her.. perhaps even causing her to die quicker and more painful!! (Seriously, I do think it is possible.) But I don't want to cause stress to her by moving her away from her territory.
YIKES! That was much, much more than a nutshell! Sorry folks! But if you managed to read this far, I'd appreciate any advice you could give me. :-)
After writing all of this out, I have kind of realised that the question should probably be "How do I prevent stressing my cat with moving?" But I'll keep the thread as it is for now as it has pretty much all the information there.
Oh, and the ex is livid at the thought that I would take the cat with me. He has been abusive to me (reason for the relationship ending) and he will not accept me taking her. But I have no problem taking her with me anyway. (I have a solicitor on my side who can prevent any continuation with the ex and me once I find my own place to live.) He won't like it, but I just can't let my cat be in the care of a person who doesn't look after her.
Advice? Thoughts?
