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Post by lauramowgli on Feb 28, 2017 19:37:01 GMT
I am hoping someone with more cat etiquette than me can help me please! My neighbour's cat had a litter a few months ago and offered me a kitten, I said no as I have never really wanted a cat. Then a little kitten became obsessed with me! Waiting at my door when I got in from work, rubbing against me, she is so cute, I fell in love with it so I asked my neighbour if they were still giving any away and they said no as they have grown up together and are keeping all of the siblings together now. They did say however that we could feed and pet them etc. As everyone on the street does. Since then we have let her in a few times and the cat has become more obsessed and now refuses to leave! She is waiting for me at the door when I get in then she will stay until I throw her out. Last night after I threw her out she cried at the back door for ages, it was raining, the neighbours lights were off so I let her stay, am I out of order?! I then let her out in the morning and went back to bed, 2 hours later when I got up she was crying at the door! My neighbours say they don't see her lala day but she turns up at our door all of the time! What do I do? I love this cat and am very happy for her to move in but I do not want to steal my cat! It's just so hard to ignore her and when it starts getting warmer I will be leaving my double doors open at the back, she is bound to come in! Any advise would be really appreciated.
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Post by cazypops on Feb 28, 2017 21:25:00 GMT
This was how I acquired both my cats. I'm guessing that your neighbour is also a friend, so I'd talk to them again and tell them what is happening and make it clear that you haven't been encouraging the cat to come in it just wants to. You never know she may even be going in other houses in the street when you aren't there too. I only have the one cat now, and I know that he goes in someones house, I just wish I knew which one so I could ask them to look after him when ever we go away.  Good luck and let us know how you get on, and welcome to the forum.  |
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Post by tonib on Feb 28, 2017 22:11:58 GMT
Welcome to the forum lauramowgli. I must admit our first cat came to us from a neighbour. Apparently she was used to coming in our house with children of both houses. We didn't initially feed her but did arrange to when they were away. Gradually she came to us more & more (I think it was a case of her getting older & preferring a quieter home than with young children) eventually we discussed it with the neighbours & basically she successfully adopted us but we always kept them informed of how she was doing. Like cazypops I would talk to the neighbours about the young cat & that you haven't encouraged her. Are all their cats allowed out day & night? - ours were but we have a catflap that they could use to come & go as they pleased. If they don't have a catflap then I might be inclined to mention that you let her stay in last night in view of the weather after they had (apparently) gone to bed & say "I hope you didn't mind" or some such wording. If they have a catflap then she could have let herself in. If they aren't interested in letting you have the cat then its going to have to be a case of tough love & not let the cat in, pet it or feed it at all & see what happens. Difficult I know. |
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Post by lotsofcats on Mar 1, 2017 14:49:52 GMT
Welcome to the forum @laurmowgli. That is how I came to adopt one of my cats, Kali. She was about 6 months old and wouldn't go away, she slept on my garden wall in the nights. I then noticed she was pregnant so the poor thing was probably thrown out. I never found out who she belonged to but years later I have a suspicion which house she lived in. She had 4 kittens and I kept 2 of them and found a local home for the other 2. You are doing nothing wrong but like the others have said I would have a word with the neighbour. I wouldn't ignore her, she is obviously choosing you and the neighbours don't seem to be very good cat carers. Let us know how you get on.
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Post by lauramowgli on Mar 2, 2017 13:04:15 GMT
Thank you so much for all of your replies, I have actually been getting stressed out about this! The neighbours live 2 doors down, we all work full time and I don't see them much but they have taken a parcel in for me a couple of times which is nice and was when I was originally offered a kitten whilst picking a parcel up. The couple seem really nice which makes it harder but the cats do seem to all be out all day, I never see them at night which led me to assume she couldn't get back in the other night. When we have approached the neighbours, they seem quite laid back about us letting her in but it's still awkward. As they are now aware she visits us, my partner has said to not push the issue, let her come and go as she pleases and see where we stand in a few weeks. He has even suggested that we let her stay if she is ever around late again and see if the neighbour approaches us, they don't seem too bothered at the moment but at some point, if she was our cat, we would put a collar on her and get her a cat flap etc. so a decision will need to be made!
Everyone who sees her cannot believe how she is around me, she is like a dog, listens to orders, follows me around everywhere I go, always has to touch me when I'm sat still, so I'm not sure I have the strength to lock her out when she is crying to come in for a prolonged period of time! What a pickle I have gotten myself in to!
Funny story about my name on here, I didn't know her name for weeks and started to call her Mowgli before I knew she was a girl! Now it's stuck and I still haven't asked the neighbours what they call her!
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Post by lotsofcats on Mar 2, 2017 13:10:01 GMT
I would go with what your partner says. I've a feeling that little Mowgli will be yours. If as you say, the neighbours are nice then they will come to realise (hopefully) that the cat has chosen you. What colour is she?
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Post by lauramowgli on Mar 2, 2017 16:40:14 GMT
She is a small black cat and we think that she may be about 6 months old as well from when we started to spot kittens on the street. The neighbours do seem lovely, she has been neutered as we have seen the scar and although she is small, she seems otherwise healthy. My Dad advised that we offer them money to cover the vet bills already paid for which I would be happy to do but I don't think that is the issue, I think they have now decided to keep them all together but 'Mowgli' doesn't seem too fussed about that! They play in the front and she is around the back meowing at the door. I am not forcing the cat to come in at all, as soon as she sees my car land on the drive she sprints over and won't leave me alone however, I can't help feeling like I am forcing someone to give me their cat! I almost feel like we're having an affair  |
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Post by molly9 on Mar 2, 2017 23:12:11 GMT
Sounds like shes adopted you & theres no getting away from that hopefully your neighbours will accept it in time, having said that I'd be heartbroken if it was my Bella feel you'd have fight on your hands if it was her x just remember you're doing nothing wrong & kitties are very clever determined creatures and once they make up their minds thats it, wish you the best & hope its all sorted quickly where everyones happy especially little Mowgli xx |
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Post by lotsofcats on Mar 3, 2017 9:20:29 GMT
She is a small black cat and we think that she may be about 6 months old as well from when we started to spot kittens on the street. The neighbours do seem lovely, she has been neutered as we have seen the scar and although she is small, she seems otherwise healthy. My Dad advised that we offer them money to cover the vet bills already paid for which I would be happy to do but I don't think that is the issue, I think they have now decided to keep them all together but 'Mowgli' doesn't seem too fussed about that! They play in the front and she is around the back meowing at the door. I am not forcing the cat to come in at all, as soon as she sees my car land on the drive she sprints over and won't leave me alone however, I can't help feeling like I am forcing someone to give me their cat! I almost feel like we're having an affair If she is about 6 months old then it is about time she was spayed and maybe this is your chance to say you would pay to have this done if she was your kitten - my cat Kali was pregnant at 6 months old. Perhaps you could ask the neighbours if they are having the female kittens spayed soon and go from there. |
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Post by lauramowgli on Mar 3, 2017 10:30:45 GMT
She has a scar on her side near her back leg, you can see where her fur hasn't quite grown back the same, could this be the scar if she has already had it done?
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Post by lotsofcats on Mar 3, 2017 12:21:23 GMT
Yes, it seems like it. The neighbours are being responsible and do not want more kittens but they certainly let their kittens out at a very young age.
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Post by goldenlabbie on Mar 15, 2017 7:05:55 GMT
I think the cat already become attached to you lauramowgli. I think your neighbor would just be fine if their cat will be over your place all the time. There is nothing wrong in giving genuine love and care for an animal anyway. |
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Post by lauramowgli on Apr 28, 2017 8:05:27 GMT
Hi guys thank you all for you advice last time! Mowgli is officially ours now and the neighbour is very laid back about it all. She is actually 10 months old now, she is a small cat but healthy and we had her at the vets to get checked over yesterday. I just have one more question please The vet put some worming cream on the back of her neck and asked us not to touch it for the rest of the night. We didn't. However, I got up this morning and noticed that I could now see it on her fur (I couldn't yesterday), can I clean this off now? I don't want her fur to get mucky or for her to clean it herself and ingest the cream! |
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Post by tonib on Apr 28, 2017 15:15:49 GMT
Hi lauramowgli, nice to hear you have officially adopted Mowgli & the neighbour is happy about it. If it was a spot-on wormer then the normal application is in a position it is hard (but not impossible) for the cat to reach such as the base of the skull & the owner is advised to leave it alone for 24 hours to allow it to soak into the skin. It's normally a clear liquid but it can leave a white powder like residue on the fur when it dries - especially visible if the cat is dark haired (as 2 of ours are!) I find it vanishes after a day or so without any brushing (ours aren't brushed daily) or harm to the cat. Hope that helps. |
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Post by lotsofcats on Apr 28, 2017 19:12:38 GMT
So pleased that Mowgli is now yours, I knew it was only a matter of time. Photos please.
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