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Post by ebony on Mar 24, 2015 11:24:49 GMT
We had someone who Ebony's never met before visiting us today, he wasn't wearing a uniform but Ebony pinned her ears back and fled upstairs like she was running for her life, our visitor didn't even see her she was gone so fast, not even stopping to see whether he was about to hurt Tigger (who gave him a sniff and decided to try making friends as she does with everyone) I thought we had a step forwards yesterday when Ebony went outside when a dog down the road was barking (normally if she hears a dog she refuses to go anywhere near the door) idk what I did wrong that's caused this sudden leap backwards, we were making good progress
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Post by migsy on Mar 24, 2015 15:07:54 GMT
Such a shame ebony,but don't be too upset.I suppose it's natural for Ebony to bolt at the sight of a stranger in her home,especially as she is a bit timid.You will probably feel as though its one step forward two steps back at times,but she will get there in time. You have most likely done absolutely nothing wrong,just think of her survival instincts being very strong for now.
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Post by ebony on Mar 24, 2015 16:35:53 GMT
I sat with her a bit and gently encouraged her to have a little game, Tigger's been helping as well inviting Ebony to play chase-me-chase-me
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Post by tonib on Mar 24, 2015 23:59:02 GMT
Sorry to read about Ebony's reaction to your visitor but don't worry about it appearing to be a step backwards, cats can decide anything is scary (or not), it could be anything about your visitor she didn't like. Whatever you do don't force her to progress. If she wants to hide from visitors then let her, just make sure she has safe (by her standards) places to go to. There have been times I wish I could legitimately hide away from people but humans have to be sociable whereas cats can do what they want! A couple of our cats are frightened if my husband wears a hat or a bulky jacket - I think its because it changes the body shape of someone that is familiar to them which is scaring them. They are also wary of visitors & find somewhere else to go, I think that's because we don't get many, as they weren't so wary when we first got them. They'll find somewhere to go - even out - but will be fine once the visitor has gone. Our other 2 are quite sociable although cautious at first You're doing fine by Ebony.
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Post by smilesbetter on Mar 25, 2015 6:43:19 GMT
Hey, I wouldn't worry about her reaction to the visitor. One of my cats used to hide under a blanket whenever anyone came up to our landing, and she still does sometimes when people come over. She comes out to visit them eventually, but she's just shy at first. Some cats are. In any case, my cat is getting better each time when people come over and is getting much quicker to come out now.
The other cat is always there at the door to meet visitors haha so we have the opposite with her! She's more like a dog than a cat when it comes to the door.
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Post by ebony on Mar 25, 2015 9:26:53 GMT
Ebony hid in my bedroom and I just left her up there while the visitor was here so she could decide for herself whether she felt brave enough to come downstairs (which she didn't until a couple of hours after she heard the visitor leave the house), even then I had to rustle the treat bag so she heard it to encourage her to come downstairs (as I said by this point the visitor had left and she knew he'd left because she heard him leaving)
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Post by ebony on Mar 25, 2015 21:23:04 GMT
Guess who was very brave tonight, came and sat next to me then asked for a little snuggle (asking me to put my face up to her head and rub heads with her) <333333
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Post by tonib on Mar 25, 2015 21:46:46 GMT
Sounds like Ebony is becoming less timid with familiar things including you If she never becomes happy with visitors does it really matter so long as she's happy to find her own safe spot & come out in her own time?
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Post by ebony on Mar 25, 2015 22:15:50 GMT
Sounds like Ebony is becoming less timid with familiar things including you If she never becomes happy with visitors does it really matter so long as she's happy to find her own safe spot & come out in her own time? The strange thing is when she was living at my grandma's (after coming out of rescue but before coming to live up here with me because my grandma wasn't coping with having a cat around the house), Ebony was reasonably okay with a couple of the neighbours coming round once a week (because my grandma had coffee mornings for her and a couple of the neighbours) yet she's scared of all who come to the door here (unless she knows who they are, for example if my mum comes to visit she comes downstairs when she hears Mum's voice even though Mum doesn't give her treats because she knows Ebony's on a diet) idk if Ebony was happy with the elderly neighbours coming round because she knew they would each bring her a treat (which didn't help her weight loss, my grandma would forget that Ebony had eaten and would have food down for her all the time which wasn't good considering she'd been a stray and knew she was onto a good thing, grandma would even give her some people food because Ebony would pretend she didn't like the cat food so would be fed meat, I had to stop her from feeding Ebony meat though because it would be meat that we were going to eat and she'd add onion to the meat we were going to eat and I never knew whether the meat she offered Ebony had traces of onion in it or not) Edit: and yes I do know onion is toxic for cats and dogs which is why I had to stop grandma from feeding Ebony meat that we were going to eat (see above paragraph)
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Post by tonib on Mar 25, 2015 23:02:51 GMT
ebony, it could be she needs to be used to the visitor, which she would be with the neighbours at your grandma's. Also it could be how the visitor let's you know they are there. Knock at the door, door-bell sound which Ebony doesn't like. Our cats aren't too worried about the door-bell but the window cleaner knocks (loudly) at the door & the it makes me jump never mind the cats reacting!
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Post by ebony on Mar 25, 2015 23:25:00 GMT
tonib so it could be the fact he knocked on the door (we don't have a doorbell because Tom used to turn aggressive at the doorbell and at the postman, doorbell would cause him to puff up and glare at the door growling and yowling and hissing, postman he'd run and hide growling and hissing from)
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Post by heartpawprints on Mar 27, 2015 16:51:33 GMT
Georgia does not like men and in the 7/8 years I've had her that's not changed. However she's very loving towards me. Each cat takes their time. Don't worry. She'll set her own limits and these may change as she gets more confident. Sounds like you're doing everything right if she's coming to sit with you voluntarily.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2015 9:29:44 GMT
Sorry to read about Ebony's reaction to your visitor but don't worry about it appearing to be a step backwards, cats can decide anything is scary (or not), it could be anything about your visitor she didn't like. Whatever you do don't force her to progress. If she wants to hide from visitors then let her, just make sure she has safe (by her standards) places to go to. There have been times I wish I could legitimately hide away from people but humans have to be sociable whereas cats can do what they want! A couple of our cats are frightened if my husband wears a hat or a bulky jacket - I think its because it changes the body shape of someone that is familiar to them which is scaring them. They are also wary of visitors & find somewhere else to go, I think that's because we don't get many, as they weren't so wary when we first got them. They'll find somewhere to go - even out - but will be fine once the visitor has gone. Our other 2 are quite sociable although cautious at first You're doing fine by Ebony.
Agree with EVERY word tonib has said Some cats are completely laid back about new people and others disappear in a puff of smoke Hattie couldn't care less but Lily and Chilli are both extremely spooked by anyone they don't recognise and crouch down low and scarper! They're often even wary of poor Neil on his first night off work (Tuesday) as, for the previous four days, he's either been snoring away in bed or out at work
The main thing is to NEVER try to force Ebony to meet people as it'll just terrify her even more. Everything has to be on HER terms and if she wants to stay upstairs or under the bed or wherever then just let her as she obviously feels a lot safer there Given time (years if she needs it!) she may start to relax but then again...she may not The main thing is to let her know your home is safe for her and be happy with her company in whatever form she gives it We once had a semi-feral called Nina and she LIVED in the bedroom and only occasionally would venture into the living room. You couldn't stroke or touch her or anything so I was glad her epilepsy pill could be crushed and put into her food! She was a sweet little girl and adored Thomas and the first Lily and we were just happy that she felt safe with us as her previous home had been in a 2ft dog crate in a barn full of barking dogs! With us she had food, warmth, Lily & Thomas to cuddle up to and two doting humans who never went near her
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Post by ebony on Apr 3, 2015 21:18:19 GMT
I'm wondering if me agreeing to take Tom so Mum wasn't forced to send him back into rescue caused Ebony to think a lot more of the world was a scary and bad place, I know I can't do anything to change it and I know Ebony and Tom adored each other.
Ebony's always been frightened of outside (and scared of the dark), what hasn't helped was my stepdad says that cats normally go out at night and he can't understand that Ebony's scared of outside.
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Post by smilesbetter on Apr 3, 2015 21:34:05 GMT
My cat Bramble used to be terrified of going outdoors, then aventually she could go out during the day for short stints, and after many years was finally able to start going out in the evenings.
Not sure cats would be active at night really, pmore in the evenings and early mornings, where it's dark still but not super dark. Prime hunting times, which their eyes have been specifically evolved to deal with.
But anyway what I mean it, I wouldn't worry about her being scared of the outside, some cats are but given time and patience they can get used to it.
Just make sure that your worrying about her confidence and things doesn't cause her to worry more. Be the calm constant that is always there to help her get used to new things. Cats are naturally more wary of new things, but they get used to them.
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