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Post by spider on Aug 23, 2019 6:24:51 GMT
Cat Poetry When God Created Kitty Cats When God created kitty cats, He had no recipe; He knew He wanted something sweet, As sweet as sweet could be.
He started out with sugar, Adding just a trace of spice; Then stirred in drops of morning dew, To keep them fresh and nice.
He thought cats should be soft to pet, Thus He gave them coats of fur; So they could show they were content, He taught them how to purr.
He made for them long tails to wave, While strutting down the walk; Then trained them in meow-ology, So they could do cat-talk.
He made them into acrobats, And gave them grace and poise; Their wide-eyed curiosity, He took from little boys.
He put whiskers on their faces, Gave them tiny ears for caps; Then shaped their little bodies, To snugly fit on laps.
He gave them eyes as big as saucers, To look into man's soul; Then set a tolerance for mankind, As their purpose and their goal.
Benevolent ... and ... generous, He made so many of them; Then charged, with Fatherly Concern, The human race to love them.
When one jumped up upon His lap, God gently stroked its head; The cat gave Him a kitty kiss, "What wondrous love," God said.
God smiled at His accomplishment, So pleased with His creation; And said, with pride, as He sat back, "At last. . .I've reached purr-fection!"
Author Unknown
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Post by scallywag on Aug 23, 2019 8:57:51 GMT
Ah But......
Among those blessings are our furry friends.
They are there to make us laugh, they are there for us when we cry and provide us with the kind of judgement-free unconditional love that only a dog can offer.
God definitely had something special in mind when he created dogs. And nothing can explain this better than the hilarious poem called “God Made a Dog.”
Here’s how it goes:
“And on the 9th-day, God looked down on his wide-eyed children and said, ‘They need a companion.’
So, God made a dog.
God said, ‘I need somebody willing to wake up give kisses, pee on a tree, sleep all day, wake up again, give more kisses, then stay up until midnight, basking in the glare of a tevelsion set.’
So, God made a dog
God said, ‘I need somebody willing to sit, then stay, then roll over. Then with no ego or complaint dress in hats they don’t need and costumes they dont understand.
I need someonboy who can break wind without a first care, without a second thought, who can chase tails, sniff crotches, fetch sticks, and lift spirits with a lick.
Somebody who no matter what you didn’t do, or couldn’t take, or didn’t win, or couldn’t make, will love you without judgment just the same.’
So, God made a dog.
God said, ‘I need somebody strong enough to pull sleds and find bombs, yet gentle enough to love babies and lead the blind. Somebody who will spend a day on a couch with a resting head and supportive eyes to lift the spirts of a broken heart.’
So, God mad a dog.
It had to be somebody who remained patient and loyal, even through loneliness. Somebody to care, cuddle, snuggle, and nuzzle, and cheer, and charm, and snore and slobber, and eat the trash and chase the squirrles.
Somebody who would bring a family together with the selflessness of an open heart. Somebody who would bark, and then pant, and they reply with the rapid wag of a tail when their best friend says, ‘Let’s go for a ride in the car.’
So, God made a dog.”
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Post by tonib on Aug 23, 2019 14:11:34 GMT
A slight personal slant on your counter poem scallywag ! God said, ‘I need somebody willing to wake up give kisses, pee on a tree, sleep all day, wake up again, give more kisses, then stay up until midnight, basking in the glare of a tevelsion set.’
So, God made a dog & the cat Roman
God said, ‘I need somebody willing to sit, then stay, then roll over. Then with no ego or complaint dress in hats they don’t need and costumes they dont understand. knowing full well that cats wouldn't demean themselves
I need someonboy who can break wind without a first care, without a second thought, who can chase tails, sniff crotches, fetch sticks, and lift spirits with a lick. having seen/smelt the cats Lexie & Roman God took the risk to combine them
Somebody who no matter what you didn’t do, or couldn’t take, or didn’t win, or couldn’t make, will love you without judgment just the same.’
So, God made a dog. copying the cat Roman
God said, ‘I need somebody strong enough to pull sleds and find bombs, yet gentle enough to love babies and lead the blind. Somebody who will spend a day on a couch with a resting head and supportive eyes to lift the spirts of a broken heart.’
So, God mad a dog. although cats already provide couch support
It had to be somebody who remained patient and loyal, even through loneliness. Somebody to care, cuddle, snuggle, and nuzzle, and cheer, and charm, and snore and slobber, and eat the trash and chase the squirrles. combining cats Lexie, Roman & Osiris
Somebody who would bring a family together with the selflessness of an open heart. Somebody who would bark, and then pant, and they reply with the rapid wag of a tail when their best friend says, ‘Let’s go for a ride in the car.’ knowing cats can learn that car rides mean vet visits so go hide!
So, God made a dog.” along with all the other pets who all contribute to those requirements
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Post by lotsofcats on Aug 24, 2019 4:39:57 GMT
All brilliant! Love the comparisons tonib.
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Post by scallywag on Aug 24, 2019 7:58:28 GMT
you started somit now spider
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.......
An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her?"
The lord answered. "Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?"
She must function on all kinds of situations, She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart, She must do all this with only two hands," She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day"
THE ANGEL was impressed" Just two hands.....impossible!
And this is the standard model?"
The Angel came closer and touched the woman" "But you have made her so soft, Lord". "She is soft", said the Lord, "But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome"
"Can she think?" The Angel asked... The Lord answered. "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate"
The Angel touched her cheeks.... "Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her" "She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel…
"What's it for?" Asked the Angel..... . The Lord said. "Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."...
This made a big impression on the Angel, "Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvellous"
Lord said."Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in.
Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life"
The Angel asked: So she is a perfect being? The lord replied: No. She has just one drawback "She often forgets what she is worth".
Send it to all the women u respect ....👍
And to all men who respect woman 👍👍
W O M A N: ● changes her name. ● changes her home. ● leaves her family. ● moves in with you. ● builds a home with you. ● gets pregnant for you. ● pregnancy changes her body. ● she gets fat. ● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth.. ● even the kids she delivers bear your name..
Till the day she dies.. everything she does... cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you.. sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.
So who is really doing whom a favour?
Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman.
Being a woman is priceless
WOMAN MEANS:- W - WONDERFUL MOTHER. O - OUTSTANDING FRIEND. M - MARVELLOUS DAUGHTER. A - ADORABLE SISTER. N - NICEST GIFT TO MEN FROM GOD.
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Post by spider on Aug 25, 2019 7:19:18 GMT
Got to agree with that
Did I tell ye about the chap out riding his Harley one lovely Sunday morn and God said to him young man u seem very at happy with the world is there anything I could do to improve ur world ooo said the man could u should a bridge to Ireland and I could ride over to visit old friends and family yeeeeee said God that a huge task the amount of steel and manpower and world resources that would take is there anything else I could do after a few more miles he said to God ok can u explained how the mind of a woman works God thought about this and said IN THE MORNING I WILL START WORK ON THE BRIDGE 😁😆😀😁
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