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Post by marniepudnme on Sept 1, 2015 15:04:10 GMT
Hi Everyone,
I recently started a thread and received some great advice for introducing a new pup (Marnie) to Puddin my cat. We are now 8 months in, and Pud and Marnie are not friends as hoped, but we were starting to make progress, but I am having some problems with Pud...if anyone can advise I'd be really appreciative.
Pud had and accident and went blind in one eye, since then and after we moved 2 years ago, she never roamed much further than the shed roof. About 4 months ago, she went missing for a week and after putting her photo up etc she was found over the road. She did it again about a month later, then after that she started going over the road for a day or two then home - which at the time I thought was quite nice for her! I had a lady in the street with 2 dogs who would msg me to let me know she was OK.
But then she started to stay there and not come home, so I went over every other day or so and call her and out she'd pop straight into my arms and come home (usually for some chicken or crab!). On one occasion, and admittedly, my sister had been to stay with her newborn, and I hadn't been over for 4 days to fetch her. A different lady came out of her house with Pud in arms, and told me Pud had been 'throwing herself' at their back door, was 'starved' and had been 'terrorising' her own cat. I apologised profusely, said this seemed out of Pud's character (who lives next door to 2 cats and wouldn't say boo!) The lady went on to saw she'd tried to take her to the vets but couldn't get her into a carry case. I assured her Pud was very loved, and well fed and cared for, I pointed out my front door (literally opposite) and gave her my number in case it happened again. I took Pud home, she ate 1/2 a bowl of salmon and went up to her room.
After this her behaviour has changed completely, she went from coming and sit with me and Marnie on the back of the sofa, spending time in her room (my spare) where Marnie has no access, to spending all her time on the kitchen worktop, ears back, growling at Marnie and hunched up, she would vomit her meals and started weeing on the bed in her room.
I've been over the road twice now to find that Pud is in this lady's house, but she has not contacted me to tell me Pud's there. I asked her the second time whether Puddin's behaviour was better toward her own cat, and she said no, but she puts hers 'out of the way'.
I'm sorry I've not been terribly concise, but I've been over 3 times in the last week and Pud hasn't responded to my calls. I had to go away for 2 days this weekend, and I gave my neighbour the key as usual in case Pud came home, but she didn't and she hasn't responded to my calls since I got back. I feel terrible, and guilty and a bit emotional. I am not a confrontational person, but Puddin' is very important to me. I don't know what to do.
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Post by tonib on Sept 1, 2015 16:01:00 GMT
Nice to hear from you again marniepudnme sorry its in such awkward circumstances. When you say Pud went over the road do you mean to one specific house or just the general area. I thought, initially, that you meant the latter as you called her & she came into your arms but now I'm wondering if you meant she'd gone to another house? Please don't think I'm criticising you, I'm not, but it does sound as if the visitors were too much for her (the final straw), especially as no-one came to find her for a bit longer than normal. Does she wear & collar & tag? If not I'd try to get her to wear one (not always possible I know) at least no-one will have the excuse of thinking she's a stray!!!! I'm intrigued as to why the lady lets her into the house if she "terrorises her cat" and she has to put her cat "out the way" I'm assuming that you know Pud is with this lady rather than just missing. In which case I would demand my cat back and keep her confined to the house for a few weeks, taking whatever action you have to do to keep some semblance of peace, even if it does mean dividing the house so Marnie has one area & Pud another. However if Pud is missing then you need to start trying to find her. There are numerous ways to do this & we can point you in the right direction.
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Post by smilesbetter on Sept 1, 2015 16:29:08 GMT
If I were you I'd go to this woman's house, get Pud and keep her indoors for a while until she is getting back to normal, then once you feel she will come back, start letting her out again. I'd also ask the other lady not to feed her, as it is highly likely she is getting fed there and may prefer the food and therefore stay there to get what she thinks is the better food.
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Post by cazypops on Sept 1, 2015 20:33:51 GMT
I'm having a similar predicament at the moment with Flirty, only I still can't find out where he is going. It's ok to say keep her in, but I tried that with Flirts and he got so stressed out and upset it was heartbreaking so I just had to give in and let him out. At least Flirts still comes home for something to eat at least once a day, but as soon as he's eaten he goes right back out and won't stay in.
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Post by smilesbetter on Sept 1, 2015 21:38:12 GMT
cazypops have you thought about trying one of those tracking collars just to keep an eye on where he is going? Might give you some peace of mind at least. And I know how hard it is to keep cats in haha, when we moved house when I was younger, no one at the farm could take our cat Jake so we had no choice but to take him away from his beloved farm. We had to keep him in for weeks at the new house and it was horrendous as he was a feral cat, he accepted it eventually though and was good, but I kind of wish we'd never let him out then as he got poisoned not long after and I found him dead which was heartbreaking. When we lived on the farm he would disappear for days on end but he was super independent and hunted most of his food anyway so it wasn't such a worry for us. Everyone knew who he was and he even had the farmers labs terrified of him haha. Plus there was very little danger there of him getting hit by a vehicle or anything and after a few times of his long weekends away we just had to accept that was who he was. He was half feral though and not much of a family cat, so different situation really. We were just his occasional stop off point haha.
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Post by cazypops on Sept 1, 2015 21:52:02 GMT
We thought about it smilesbetter, in fact tonib offered to lend us the one she has, but Flirts won't tolerate a collar. Knowing Flirts he's probable found some other sucker to give him a bed, which I'm fine with. As long as he's safe and comes home at least once a day to let us know he's ok. He's a very independent cat so he could just be going in the field at the back of us and hunting his own food. But he's also very cheeky and if someone shows him the slightest bit of kindness he'll be in there house before they know what is happening. That was how I ended up with him.
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Post by smilesbetter on Sept 1, 2015 21:55:22 GMT
A good, our Jake wouldn't take a collar either, he'd savage anyone who went near his neck actually. Haha well with a name like Flirty I'm sure he's a charmer and got a few households on the go
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Post by cazypops on Sept 1, 2015 21:56:28 GMT
Ha ha. that was exactly how he got his name. and believe me he lives up to it.
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loz
Newbie
Posts: 12
Pets I own: 3 cats and 2 rabbits
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Post by loz on Sept 2, 2015 5:56:34 GMT
We thought about it smilesbetter, in fact tonib offered to lend us the one she has, but Flirts won't tolerate a collar. Knowing Flirts he's probable found some other sucker to give him a bed, which I'm fine with. As long as he's safe and comes home at least once a day to let us know he's ok. He's a very independent cat so he could just be going in the field at the back of us and hunting his own food. But he's also very cheeky and if someone shows him the slightest bit of kindness he'll be in there house before they know what is happening. That was how I ended up with him. Flirts sounds just like our Jenson! He's a soft touch with anyone who will feed him and he still lives more with the woman 2 streets away than he does with us. The annoying thing is Jenson does wear a collar & is microchipped, plus I;m plying his insurance & vet bills but don't see him! I've seriously thought about asking this other woman if she wants to adopt him, or at east pay towards his vets bills instead of only ringing me every time he looks ill. I feel guilty ringing her or going round to see my own cat - I too don't like confrontation, but sometimes people just take liberties!
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Post by marniepudnme on Sept 2, 2015 9:04:43 GMT
Morning, and Thank you! I feel so much better about it all.
tonib I know you're right, I was wrong to have let Pud stay out that long - lesson very much learned! All future visitors will just have to deal with Pud in the house.
The situation with the lady is very awkward, I'm sure she is full of good intention - but she also seems to have a soft spot for Pud, and she uses very strong/quite dramatic language about Puddin's wellbeing! She told me once Pud had been "screaming her heart out" but Pud is and always has been a really laid back cat, I've never heard more than a purr out of her in 8 years! She seems to have decided that Pud isn't loved and cared for, which really upsets me. If it were a situation where she was alone and Pud liked it there I wouldn't have minded at all, but she has her own pet - who is clearly distressed by Pud (and Pud by them) I don't think it's fair that I should be made to feel like a bad parent under those circumstances...
I'm also a bit upset that before this lady started to take an interest in Pud's wellbeing, Puddin would pop over the road, have a bit wander and I'd find her on the nearing church lawn or catching some sun on a wheelie bin. A different lady, who never let Pud in because she had dogs that weren't cat friendly - would send me a fb msg to let me know she was OK, and I was so pleased! Pud is so weary these days and loses her way so easily, I was happy that she'd found a spot she was comfortable in that was close enough to home for me not to worry.
Anyway - it feels great to have a good rant and see I'm not the only one who is frustrated by all the 'helpfulness'! The good news is Pud wasn't in the lady's house on my 3rd attempt going over after work yesterday, she was happy to see me, we had a big cuddle and some left over chicken. I've been out and bought her an awesome new play centre, some new toys and new litter tray. I also bought her some calming spot on (anyone used that?) and I feel bad but I'm going to see how we get on staying in the house for a couple of weeks. She won't wear a collar she's out of it, and it disappears within seconds!
I'm also really pleased that after a very long walk, Marnie was happy to curl up with her training lead on so Pud felt confident enough to come and sit with us on the sofa. Thrilled to have her home safe!
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Post by tonib on Sept 2, 2015 10:56:19 GMT
loz, sorry to hear Jenson is still with the other lady for most of the time. I'll be honest & say our first cat was our next door neighbour's - a long story - and I've always felt slightly guilty about it even though the neighbour was & is fine about it, but we always paid her vet bills etc. once she decided to stay with us until her demise in 2008, her ashes are in our garden but against the shared fence. I must admit I think I'd speak to the lady about those bills, although if its the one you mentioned before, elderly she may just be lonely & not thinking. marniepudnme, Glad to hear Pud is home again & seems more relaxed. Good idea about Marnie being on the lead. Don't know which calming spot-on you've got. When we had a stressful situation with Lexie & the others we had Kalm-Aid which could be added to food or there is one version for putting on cat's paws. Not sure whether it did work but I think it did a little. Also besides the Feliway plug-ins there is also Pet Remedy which is supposed to be relaxing for both cats & dogs so may help the situation. It's valerian based & although more noticeable in the home its not too bad, I like it but my OH isn't too keen. But you soon don't notice it & I must admit I've had good nights' sleep once it was in the bedroom! It's also usually cheaper than Feliway!! Have a search on online - definitely cheaper than the normal pet stores. I;ve used Animedirect for Pet Remedy as its usually quicker than others of the same price & zooplus for Feliway (as its often on offer) but that comes from Germany so can take a few days. However if you go for Feliway note that they've changed the model & the refills for one model don't work with the other. Oh & both of you don't worry about rants on here, we're always pleased to know that members can feel comfortable enough to do so
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Post by smilesbetter on Sept 2, 2015 11:07:48 GMT
marniepudnme so glad you have Pud back, hope it goes well with keeping her inside for a bit. That is very strange with the neighbour, sometimes you get people like that who just like meddling as they don't have anything better to do.
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